Getting Closure and Moving On
Have you ever noticed the cycles of relationships? Engagements happen in cycles, pregnancies, weddings, break ups. Maybe it’s astrological, maybe it’s energetic, all I know for sure is that a lot of us go through this stuff together, and there have been a lot of endings lately.
The people in our lives serve as some of our greatest teachers. Many of them, even the ones that quickly come and go, formed a Soul contract with us before coming into this life that determined the lesson and/or meaning of the relationship. No one enters your life as a mistake, or just by random chance. We are drawn to each other for reasons way beyond what we are conscious of. Because of the Soul connection we share with others, it makes ending relationships extremely challenging. Then, you roll in the Ego’s sense of feeling rejected, hurt, misunderstood, fear of being alone forever, need for approval, etc, and endings just get that much more complicated and painful. I work with a lot of clients going through break ups, endings of friendship, or deaths of a loved one, and something I hear consistently is that they didn’t receive the closure they need to move on with their life. People hold on for so long, waiting for that one conversation that will make everything better. They wait for conversations that never happen, meanwhile, their entire life is passing them by. When people come to me in this place, I help them find the closure they’re needing, and let go through different techniques that require no action by the person they’re releasing. Although the Guides give custom homework and tips to each person, I’ve put together a few of the common tips I channel. If you put these practices into action, and stick with them every time that person comes up for you, they will help you move on with your life, guaranteed.
One of the biggest reasons people hold on to others long after the relationship is over is because they didn’t get to say how they felt, or they said it and never felt heard. Either way, if you have unexpressed or unvalidated feelings regarding a relationship or person, you won’t be able to move on until you release them. That’s where these two exercises come into play. You may choose to do one or both, just follow what resonates for you. For some it takes one method, one time and they’re good to go. For others it takes multiple times to get all the layers of feelings out. You may need to do it every few days for a little bit, and that’s totally okay! Just stick with it until you get everything you never said out of your body. The first option for this exercise is to write a letter to the person you’re moving on from. Pour your emotions on the page, and just let everything out. Good, bad, the I miss you’s and the I hate you’s. The Why’s, all of it. Then you’re going to want to burn it, either in a fire place, or over the sink or toilet. Someone recently shared with me that burning it over the toilet and then flushing the ashes really seals the deal for them. So feel free to make this practice your own. As you’re burning the letter, say “I now release all of these feelings, words, and need for validation from _____. I ask my Angels to assist me in sealing this process by clearing any residual energy I am carrying from this relationship now. I accept that this relationship is ending in divine timing, and that I know all I am meant to know. Thank you God and Angels for helping me release this person from my body, mind, and life. Amen.” The second thing you can try to clear everything you didn’t get the chance to say, is to take an object like a rock or crystal, and hold it in your right hand. You’re going to imagine saying everything you’ve ever wanted to say, and channel the energy of those words out of your right hand and into the object you’re holding. You can do this while walking around your house, walking on the beach, or out on a hike. You can speak out loud, or in your head, whatever feels better to you. When you’re done, all of that energy becomes sealed in the rock or crystal. You’re going to want to give it to the Earth to transmute, so you can leave it out on a hike, under a tree in a park, or throw it in the ocean. After you give the rock or crystal back to the Earth, end with the same statement as the other exercise, “I now release all of these feelings, words, and need for validation from _____. I ask my Angels to assist me in sealing this process by clearing any residual energy I am carrying from this relationship now. I accept that this relationship is ending in divine timing, and that I know all I am meant to know. Thank you God and Angels for helping me release this person from my body, mind, and life. Amen.”
After you clear away all of the things you never got to say, you can feel better about cutting any toxic or negative cords you have with this person, and you can retrieve any parts of yourself that you may have left with them. Spirit says that when we are in a deep relationship with someone, romantic or friendship, we can leave parts of ourself with them. Then, we never feel complete without them, but it really isn’t them we’re missing, it’s a part of ourself. You’re going to want to begin this exercise with a meditation. 5-10 minutes, depending on your own practice, just to get into that deep, meditative state of mind. You can also practice yoga to get you to that state, and do this work right after. In meditation, you’re going to set the intention that you are calling back the missing pieces of your Soul for full integration. Ask that your Guardian Angel, God, Archangel Michael, (any divine figure you pray to) comes with you and protects you during this process, and that all integration be in your highest and best good. Now, picture the person you’re moving on from in your mind, and just ask, “Did I leave a part of myself behind with them?” You may see an image of yourself, a memory of yourself being a certain way, a part of yourself that maybe you left behind in an effort to make the relationship work, any visual that comes up for you is right on. Imagine reaching out your hand to those parts of yourself and saying, “I’m so sorry I left you behind. I miss you and I promise to keep you safe and honor you. Please come back to me.” See them taking your hand, and stepping into your energy field, merging with you. You can also say something like, “I now call back all parts of my Soul that I have left behind with the person’s name/group of people/past relationships/etc. I apologize for leaving you behind and promise to take care of you now.” If you feel the sense that the person you were in relationship with is trying to hold onto these parts of you, remember you have your Angels there assisting you in this process, and say, “You can no longer hold these parts of me. I command that all parts of my Soul be released from you now.” This is rare, but can happen when someone is energetically manipulative, narcissistic, abusive, or just extremely powerful on a psychic level. Remember, they cannot over power you on this deep Soul level. When you have all parts of you returned, you’re going to ask to be shown any toxic, or negative cords that are still linking you with this person. I usually see them as tar-like ropes, but again, whatever visual you’re shown is perfect for you. When they come into your mind, say, “Archangel Michael, I ask that you please cut all of these negative and toxic cords attaching me to ______. I am ready to release everything that is not in my highest and best good. I ask that you please send healing to repair the damage these cords have caused to myself, as well as _____. Thank you.” When you feel this process is complete, you should experience a relief of their energy, and of negative energy. You always want to end this by saying, “I ask that all of ______ energy be sent back into their body, fully restored, fully repaired, and fully healed, now. I ask that all of my energy be sent back into my body, fully restored, fully repaired, and fully healed, now. Thank you. Amen.” Take it easy coming out of this, and drink lots of water afterwards.
This last exercise is pretty powerful, and it can be intense for some. You’re going to have a soul conversation, ending the relationship and getting the closure that you need with this person. I’ve had experiences where the person actually remembers this conversation, but as a dream, so it does reach them on a subconscious level. Even if they don’t remember, their Soul hears and absorbs everything from this moment spent with you, it is deeply powerful work for both you and them. You’re going to want to go into your meditative state for this practice as well. Some of my clients like to do this right before bed because that’s when they’re the most open. Just make sure that you call on your Angels, Archangel Michael, Jesus, or any divine figure you pray to for protection as you begin. When you feel safe and sealed in divine light, you’re going to say, “Please take me to have a conversation with _____’s Soul.” You may be taken into their room or wherever they are in the physical, to a special place you two shared together, or to an entirely different realm of consciousness, which may look like an old temple, cave, healing room, island, or another divine place. Again, whatever comes up for you is perfect. When you see them in front of you, you can start to talk with them. You may notice that your ego is not involved in the conversation. Because this is taking place at a Soul level, your ego’s needs won’t be an issue. Even though this conversation is about an ending and closure, it usually has an undertone of love and acceptance to it. Just share what’s on your heart, and let your Soul speak to them. Sometimes they just listen, but many times they respond, so let yourself hear what they’re saying. These conversations are unique to everyone, so just hold the intention that it is in your highest and best good, and allow it to unfold. I’ve heard people say that it begins with why’s and I miss you’s, and ends with a knowing that it just wasn’t meant to be and it’s okay, and a real peacefulness. Just be patient. When you feel complete and the conversation is over, say your goodbye’s, and end in the same way we ended the last exercise. Say, “I ask that all of ______ energy be sent back into their body, fully restored, fully repaired, and fully healed, now. I ask that all of my energy be sent back into my body, fully restored, fully repaired, and fully healed, now. Thank you. Amen.” Take a few moments to come back into your body, breathe, and hydrate. You can do this exercise with people who are living or people who have passed that you’re needing closure from. I just want to stress the importance of always protecting yourself at the start and always sending their energy back to them and your own back to you. Otherwise, you can pick up other people’s stuff, or energetic stuff around you, and just end up not feeling like yourself.
This is deep, Soul level work right here. I recommend doing these exercises in order, taking a day or two in between each one for maximum impact. Remember that your highest self always knows that you’re going to be okay, and can see what you were meant to learn from the experience. Your Ego self is that part that gets stuck in the fear, rejection, and anger. By clearing the relationship on a higher level, you will heal yourself deeper than you would by just trying to satisfy the Ego.
I am sending you extra love and blessings! Please let me know how these tips work for you, and if you’d like guidance around a specific situation, ending, or to connect with your loved ones on the other side, feel free to contact me to set up a private session either in person, over the phone, or skype. All are equally as accurate.
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About the Author
Sarah Renee is an international medium, spiritual transformation coach, Minister, teacher, and best selling author.